I have a date tonight. A “getting to know you” coffee with a guy I met in my phone. What shall we call him, I wonder? Maybe I’ll wait until after I meet him in person to find an appropriate label. Or maybe I’ll never talk to him again after tonight. Only time will tell at this point.
I hope he isn’t a dork. I hope we like each other. Would be nice to find someone to spend time with again. Someone who doesn’t already have a girlfriend, that is. Not that I’m planning to give up Unionguy any time soon.
I took the Gem out for a birthday lunch today, she turns 10 tomorrow. Her father wrote on his blog that she was so hurt by me, and bothered to be moving into his new girlfriend’s house. Made me feel kind of guilty, a common sensation when it cones to him. But now I think he’s full of shit, also a common sensation when it comes to him. She seems fine, excited even. She was bragging about her new bedroom and fancy loft bed that Cate got for her. Sounds like she’s spoiling them both. Sounds like it’s time for me to stop reading his blog.
I started posting on my Tumblr again (that’s where we met and where I read his crap). I think I was looking for a way to connect with him in a kind of 3rd party way, to be in contact without direct communication. But I am already censoring myself and avoiding any topic that might hurt him. I don’t even know if he knows about it yet but we have a lot of friends in common so I’m sure he’d find it eventually. Today he wrote that the fear of letting go is worse than the pain of remembering. Why do I keep making this my problem?
It’s stormy here this afternoon. All I want to do is put in my headphones and dig in the dirt but instead I’ll just have to sit and wait for a couple of hours until it’s time to get ready to go out. Maybe the weather will be reasonable this weekend and I’ll get into it then.