Unionguy came over on Wednesday. I told myself it was because I wanted to tell him I’ve been seeing someone else but I didn’t. I just wanted one more moment with him, with what will soon be past. We mostly talked about some very big things that are happening at my work (which I’ll get into soon because *squee!!*). The sex was amazing, better than ever; fun and silly and very satisfying. But, by the time he left, I knew I was ready to close that door to make way for Date guy.
My life has changed and is so much better for having Unionguy in it, of this I have no doubt. He has helped me have patience, to truly decide what I want, and wait for it. I have obviously cared for him deeply, and will continue to do so. I value our friendship and hope he will be a part of my life for a very long time. The physical aspect, however, needs to end.
Date guy gives me everything Unionguy gave me, and then takes it to the next level. I realized the other day that DG looks at me the way I look at UG. He likes spending time with me, he wants me on his arm. I don’t feel cast aside or not quite good enough with DG as I often do with UG. I feel valued and special. I want to see where we can take this and I think he does too.
That being said, I feel some other crap coming on. Not insecurity. Fear, perhaps? He likes me as much as I like him and maybe even more but… but… what?
But nothing, silly woman! Let it go. I’ll do my best, hope for a wonderful outcome but I’m not tied to it. As Unionguy was a bridge to where I am now, Date guy will be a bridge to somewhere else. To where and how long will it take? Only time will tell. But I want to go there. And I’ll do so with the best possible intentions, hoping for the best possible outcome.
Enjoy the good, me. There’s no rush.