Sometimes the slightest comment will transport me back, and remind me of the dreams I dreamed, things I wanted so so bad, things that never came to fruition.
Fabian is often there. I loved him beyond anything I’d known. I wanted him to the depths of my very soul; I would’ve done just about anything to make that dream a reality.
In retrospect, however, I didn’t really want him, I wanted who I wanted him to be. Or maybe it’s wanted the person I thought he could be? Did I invent that person? Did I make him up? And then get frustrated because he wasn’t him?
Do I do that with Unionguy? Is part of the draw that I can’t have him? How would I feel if he was available to me? I honestly don’t know.