I guess what I’m dealing with right now is the realization that the woman I idolized my whole life and basically formed my life after was a complete fake.

But even as I write this I know she believed in the things she told me back then as much as I did. I think she just lost it. Or, most likely, she was going along without paying attention so when she lost what made her happy she simply didn’t know how to find it again.

As an adult I know that I have to live my life very intentionally. Part of that means finding out what/who gives me energy and what/who takes it away. Sadly, my mother is now one who takes my energy. I still love her, she is my mother, but she is no longer my friend. 
(Do I dump people too easily? I seem to spend a lot of time alone these days. Hmm… I’ll have to get back to you about that.)


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