Trigger happy

I ate a LOT this weekend. Like, real crappy food. I have been stoned three days straight. And have barely gotten off the couch.

I keep wondering what’s causing all this, what the trigger is. Starting things with Unionguy again? I hope not! My mom’s visit? Maybe. The fact that I’ve barely exercised in the past two weeks? Wait, is that a trigger or another side effect of the trigger? 

What if I’m super stressed about something? What would that be? Money? Regaining the weight I’ve lost? 

Is this rebellion? Is this fuck you I’ll do what I want behaviour? Is it loneliness? Boredom?

Am I rewarding myself because I’m so damn impressed with myself? Maybe I’m just all cocky and hot shit because I got my way again.

What if there is no trigger? What if this is just how I’m spending my weekend and next weekend I’ll probably do something different. 

Yes, I like that last one. Ima stick with that, thanks. 

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