Updating 

So, remember how I didn’t know what I’d say if/when he texted today? We had a short hello earlier and I directed the conversation toward his mom for neutrality. 

Then later he said he was trying to remember songs on the Spotify list we made a few weeks ago that we listen to when he’s here. 

(A little aside about that, it took us three or four tries to get it saved and Crimson and Clover was the first song he picked every time, when he was here last week he got quite stirred up and intimate while it was on. It starts “I don’t really know her but I think I could love her”. Just sayin. I point that out for no reason whatsoever. 😋)

Anyway, blah blah blah and hahaha, conversation was ending and I blurted… well, here’s the conversation, you be the judge:

I know, right? Totally impossible to read this guy. Or maybe it’s completely clear to anyone but me. (Don’t tell me… I’ll find out soon enough.)

My mom and my aunt flo will be visiting for the next week and then we’ll talk. I don’t know which way it will go. I don’t even know which way I want it to go. (Hahahahayeah, like anyone is going to fall for that.)

Honestly, I’m open to either way. But something has to give. 

If I were to guess, I would say I think he’ll end it but I don’t want to put that out into the universe. (I think he’ll end it.)

Time will tell, my invisible friends. All the answers come in time. You just have to live out the questions.

Either way, something will change and it will be for the best. 

Now I just have to wait.

{Update to updating: I just reread and I’m pretty sure he’ll end it. Maybe he’ll fuck me one last time.}

{{It’s going to be a rough week.}}

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