I keep going back to the “I’m worth more” argument but when you get right down to it I think I have a lot of love to give that I’m just not allowed to express right now. I don’t know if he’s even capable of accepting it, I don’t know if he knows how. But I can’t just let it keep building inside of me because it’s starting to come out in explosions and tears. I’m not trying to stuff it down with food anymore but at least that was numbing and tasted good. This just hurts and aches and I don’t want to feel that way. Not being my genuine loving self feels wrong and I won’t do that again. It won’t break me again. I’m stronger now, I understand it, I’ve learned the absolute joy and peace that it brings to me and I’m not going to live with anything less than to at least strive for everything.