Poke poke

Just came home from dinner with my ex sister-in-law-type-person and I feel like banging my head against the wall or poking my eye out or something. Vomiting is under serious consideration. 

It’s not her, she’s fine for the most part. It’s the whole dynamic, this fucked up family that I got involved with because Miul tugged my fucking heart strings and I wanted so badly to make it all better.

Is that what I’m doing again with Unionguy?? I’m getting so fucking hung up on feelings and smells and moments and tiny little snippets of attention. Am I not worth more than that? Don’t I deserve more??

I know I do. I know there’s some stray girl hormones hanging out in my head, poking around, looking for a weak spot. Fucking vagina messing with me again. 

Forget it. Time to turn that shit off for a while and distract myself with a movie or something. Nothing is going to get figured out tonight. And there is no way in hell I’m going to sweep another shattered glass off my hallway floor while nursing a hang over in the morning. Maybe I’ll bike for an hour first.

Fucker. 

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