You can barely hear the thunder and lightening storm in this house you didn’t want to live in. And the rain hitting the metal roof is hypnotic.
Just kidding. I think I figured out how to pay the phone bill off and be rid of you once and for all. Except we live in the same town and will inevitably bump into each other. Maybe not. You’re really good at the silent treatment, anyway.
I miss Gem. I admit, I do still look at the Tumblr on Gem weekend. And maybe have a short visit with my past.
I’m moving on though, becoming the person I wanted to be. The one you feared so much. I’m really not that bad, I’m just different than how you judged me in some ways. (Maybe not different, maybe just not stifled and repressed.)
It’s okay, you know. No hard feelings. You don’t have to say you’re sorry and cry.
Remember that story you told me about when you were a kid? About how disappointed and disillusioned you felt when your mom wouldn’t leave your dad no matter how bad things got? Remember how I told you I’d leave? Did you think I was lying?
In a way this is a lesson I wanted Gem to have. People don’t have to stay no matter what. To say you love them and say you’re sorry is not enough if your actions are telling a very different story. And, as hard as it may be to understand and accept, to do everything right and be the most loving person you can possibly be sometimes isn’t enough.
And that’s okay.
It’s a good lesson. An important one, I think.
Long live Aunt Sister-Mom!