I’ve mentioned this before, I think, but I often write silly little notes to (who I call) Future Me. Then, when I find them, I appreciate Past Me and her thoughtful ways.
Sounds dumb, I know, but there is an ongoing communication and consideration happening there. And it’s nice. I clean the kitchen before bed because I know Future Me will be grateful in the morning. When I look in the mirror I thank Past Me for exercising and taking care of our body (and, to be honest, sometimes tell her off for drinking a bottle of wine the night before… lol).
I have always been pretty amicable with Past Me. Future me taught Past Me the concept of consequences at a very young age. Past Me was always watching, considering, observing and suggesting. And Future Me relayed the findings after lengthy, and sometimes intense, investigation.
The problem became that I spent so much time reminiscing with Past Me and planning with Future Me that I completely ignored Now Me. To be honest, Now Me didn’t really notice because that’s how she had spent most of her life anyway.
I was never a fan of Now Me. I didn’t like the way she looked, talked, walked, sat; yeah, not fond of her at all. I felt that Now Me was the one making bad decisions and fucking everything up. She was impulsive and lazy, she wanted everything handed to her on a platter while berating Past Me and expecting miracles from Future Me.
It is only recently that I have made peace with Now Me. She spent a lifetime feeling lost in the shuffle and it made her think she was pretty worthless. She was just trying to get through the day but was expected to carry all the burdens on her own. I finally understand she’s most important part – she ties it all together!
Realizing her importance, Now Me tries harder these days. She knows she can’t undo the choices Past Me has made so she is learning to be more tolerant and forgiving. She still has big hopes for Future Me but understands that we all have a role to play in making things happen. These days we all try to do for each other, and we definitely all love each other. It’s much better.
Now Me and Past Me agree – things are going to be okay. Future Me will have to get back to you at a later date.
I might be stoned.