I want to contact him and scream “you mother fucker, look what you’ve done! I trusted you, I believed in you. We’ve been apart for five months and you are still dragging me down!!!!”

Other times, I want to sit with him and hold his hand, I want to calm him and feel comfortable in our little bubble of love. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. We were supposed to be together, not starting over apart. We promised forever and I believed. I trusted him to do right by me, but months later he is still draining the life from me. I need to scream and rage and hit and fix but I can’t. There’s nothing left to do but wait and let myself grieve until I am able to move on. 

How fucking long is that going to take? And will I soon want to be with him less instead of more? Please. Please, just let’s stop and move on with our lives.  I just want it to be over.  


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