Mark Manson: The Disease of More
This was a very timely article for me.
About an hour ago I was reading Jeff’s blog and witnessing, as I have for over 6 years now, the dramatic rise and fall of his day to day life. And, while I don’t exactly feel sorry for him anymore, I do still feel for him.
So I came home for lunch and as I was preparing my lovely chicken and avocado sandwich I was thinking about the way things used to be.
I was very happy with him for the most part. For a long time I was content in our relationship and comfortable in our love. In the background, however, I always wanted more. I wanted to go further in my career, wanted a better car, wanted to move into a house. And the more I wanted to go forward, the more he tried to pull back or, eventually, shut down.
I needed more, though. I needed to do better. He didn’t have the same desire and it drove me a little crazy. I simply didn’t understand how he could not want to improve. And I couldn’t allow him to hold me back. So I went ahead and improved past him, moved on without him.
Am I happier now? I like my job better, I’m glad to not have the frustration of a car that was falling apart, I love love love my home. But am I happier? No, I can’t say that I am.
My struggles are different but I’ve definitely defaulted back to my 7. I guess I have to say, as Mark said much more eloquently in his article, I am striving toward more things that I think will help me get to 10.
I’ve always struggled with the need for more. More food, more money, more love, more pot, more more more happiness, please. Is that going to work?
If I got together with Gord, I’d be at 9 or 10 for a while but I’d go back to 7. The same would happen if I got a promotion or won the lottery or fit into smaller pants.
That’s the frustration, though. What am I supposed to do if I’m not trying to reach 10? Isn’t life in the trying?
Mark says that we need to be motivated by something other than our own happiness. What is that?