There hasn’t been much communication between us for the past few days. I’m oddly happy about that. Not oddly, though, I guess. Whether he is avoiding me because he doesn’t want me or avoiding me because he wants me too much or not avoiding me and just busy, it’s important for this to happen right now. (Obviously I will move forward assuming that he wants me too much because when I don’t know the answer, I will always lean toward the option that feels best. =D)
It is important for this silence to happen right now because nearly anything else would be the end of us. I don’t like sneaking around. I don’t like lying to my friends when they ask about him. I have no interest in spending time with someone who would blatantly cheat on their significant other in an ongoing manner. If he is the type of person who would fuck around on her, I will take that penis for what it’s worth and go on my merry way. If he got caught up in the moment and, let’s face it, the pressure I placed on him to fuck me, I will enjoy that penis and let him go. What I won’t do is sit by the phone and be here at his convenience.
What I hope will happen at this point is that he will miss me and I will hear from him again in a couple of days. I hope he will realize that life just isn’t as fun without me and it will bring about a change in his personal situation. Or maybe not in a couple of days, maybe even some day.
Truth is, I have no idea what is going on with him and I have no idea what will happen. So I’m just going to keep living my life, working, putting myself out there and moving forward because that’s what I do. If he decides he wants to join me at some point, I will decide whether or not I want him at that time. If he decides or has already decided that he doesn’t want me, no harm, no foul.
One thing I do know for sure, though, what I am looking for in the person I hope to share my life with is and will be based largely on the things I have found in him. The electricity, the goodness, the awareness and the sex.
Whatever happens, dear Unionguy, you changed my life and I’m very happy to know you.