I wonder

For future reference and development of a lifelong investigation into patterns of human nature, I would really like to know if he is over me because he got me. The couple of times we made out before actual penetration happened, he said it didn’t want to have full on sex, he wanted to save it. I wondered if it was because that was his line between cheating and not cheating; I hoped it was because he wanted to be out of his relationship and to save something that would make that first time special; I suspected it was a pleasure delaying tactic.

When we did eventually have sex, afterward I asked if he was okay with it. Again he said he wanted to save it. Save it for what? He did not have a clear answer that he was willing to share. But I’m sure there was one.

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