How is it that you don’t even know the right answer until you get it? I would have felt torn apart if I had let myself worry about it (so glad I don’t have to put myself through that anymore!) I knew I seriously needed some sexual activity and that I was crazy about UG but I also knew that I didn’t want to be in a deep relationship right now. There was no answer that gave me everything I wanted. All in or all out – isn’t that how it goes with me?
How about I still get to sext and flirt with UG, we can make out like teenagers from time to time (no sex!), my panties can still get wet, I can swoon and crush and fantasize, we can get to know each other on a deeper level without the pressures of dating and I don’t have to be in a deep committed relationship. Fucking perfect at this perfect moment in my life. Holy shit balls.
I don’t know what will happen. And I’m overjoyed about that. At this time last year I didn’t have the slightest inkling that my life would look like this one year later. When I met him in April I thought I was happy. Well, I guess I was happy because I am happy. But I was also stressed, frustrated, usually pissed off, engaging in terrible sex, taking care of a kid I didn’t want to take care of, cleaning up behind a man I wanted to strangle as often as I wanted to hug. (Sadly, he was not accepting of either.)
Flash forward 8 months – I have a new car, a new home, kicking fucking ass at work, this part time lover, and wine, lots and lots of wine. Going to go drink some more instead of sitting here writing about it. Later!