I’m laughing at myself for the little heart-skipping beat that happens in my chest every time I get a text, and I always feel excited/nervous when I check to see if it’s from him.
I’m enjoying the inner peace and outer quiet that comes from ending an unhealthy relationship. There is a freedom in it, an achievement. The trial is over, I have been released. Not guilty.
I’m really enjoying Christmas this year. Life is changing again. And it’s getting really fucking good.
The roller coaster of thrills and fears is climbing higher now, the drop will be incredible. Heed this warning: I may need to scream again.
But, you know something? The past few days, while I’ve been here and he’s been there, I have continuously feared receiving a note like I send to him. The breakup before the startup. It doesn’t feel very nice. Going to have to work on that.