When last we spoke, our heroine (meaning me, not the shit you shoot into your veins) was having trouble sleeping and about to embark on an adventure with the man of her desires.
It was fucking wonderful. We talked, we communicated, he didn’t scream at other cars, he didn’t lose his temper, he bought breakfast, he teased, I teased, I creamed my shorts. He’s just amazing. He gets it, you know? He gets me. He doesn’t know everything about me and know exactly who I am, he doesn’t have the ability to finish my sentences, he just has the same mode of communication.
I am 45 years old. The other day I tried to explain to him how I was feeling using my roller coaster analogy and HE GOT IT. Do you understand how rare that his in my life? Let’s try never. When I try to explain my feelings to someone, even/especially someone who has known me a long time, I am usually met with a blank stare or “yeah, Bev, I don’t have the slightest idea what the fuck you are saying.” With this guy, I did my rambling and he said “I understand what you mean now.”
Yesterday we talked about our ex’s shit. He told me about his ex-wife -what a piece of work that one is- and I told him about Miul. I think his current situation is very similar to what I went through with Miul. Everything is fine if he is there, she doesn’t engage or interact with him very much but when he’s there at least she is calm and undemanding. If you had asked me before, I would have said I think she has him wrapped around her little finger. Now I think it’s more that it’s just easier to go along with her and avoid the drama. Been there, looking for the t-shirt.
We were a little more joky on the way home. Man, time went way too fast. When he dropped me off he came in to use the bathroom.
And then he kissed me.
Full on kissed. It was nice. I felt a little awkward and wasn’t sure what to do (it has been over five years since I was last kissed, after all) and I was thinking, watching, analyzing. I finally shut my brain off and gave into it. And nearly attacked him. All I wanted was to rip his clothes off and have my way with him. Instead, I gave him a swat and told him to get out. One more kiss first.
About half an hour later (half an hour of me swooning and giggling and gushing and reliving) he called me. He said he hadn’t planned to do that and was I okay. I didn’t tell him that I totally planned it, that most of the time I spent in the Jeep with him I was imagining taking his face in my hands and putting my lips on his. I did tell him that I was very pleased it had happened and that I am not fragile.
Before bed he texted to say he enjoyed the drive. I thanked him. He said he had an ulterior motive, that he wanted to know me better away from work and sexting. This morning he said his head was in a good place. He had hoped to drop in but wasn’t able to get away from work. He said “if I don’t see you before Christmas” and I’m all begging for Christmas hugs so he might drop in tomorrow.
So I was obviously a good girl this year because Santa gave me what I wanted. Bring on 2017.