Did I tell you what Unionguy did after his trip? Remember how I was just going to be chill and see? I practically bounced out of bed with excitement on Saturday morning; just knowing he was back in town filled me with renewed hope and anticipation. I promptly got dressed and went out to rake leaves before the rain started. By the time I was done, he had sent a message.
We texted back and forth for a bit and then he offered to buy lunch. He picked up a chicken caesar salad and some garlic bread and brought it here. I was jonesing for a Diet Coke so I also said “if you buy me a Diet Coke I will love you forever, or at least until it’s all gone.” He brought a can of Diet Coke as well.
So, we ate lunch and chatted about his trip. Then we moved into the living room and chatted about the worst year of his life and one of the best years of my life. Getting to know each other a little better, just as I had hoped. As we talked, I resisted the urge to climb into his lap and dry hump myself to orgasm.
He had flown over night, got into town at 7:30am and texted me at 9:15am. Dude missed me as much as I missed him, is what I’m trying to tell you. He was pretty tired and decided to go home for a nap. He massaged my shoulders as we walked to the door; I resisted the urge to drag him into my bedroom and screw his brains out. Later he texted that he was sorry he had to leave but I said the Diet Coke was all gone so I didn’t need to be nice to him anymore, anyway, so it was all for the best. He told me it was hard to stop himself from stealing a kiss. I changed my panties.
But then he spent the evening with his girlfriend; the next day, too, I assume. More messages first thing Monday morning and a few in the afternoon. Later, as Miul and I texted about his plans to end his life (I say that in a casual way, but it was not a casual conversation), I was quite falling apart and texted UG because I needed someone to talk to. He didn’t know what was going on on my end of the phone and said he had a few minutes and what’s up. But then I realized what an idiot I am (yes, again) and said it was a false alarm. After a while I stopped crying about Miul and did some kickboxing before I did some more crying and went to bed, and then got up and cried even more.
The point I’m trying to make and will just jump into before I get too far off track is: he’s just some guy. Yes, I like his perspective. Yes, he smells good. Yes, I’m attracted to him. Yes, I want to do naughty things with him. But there will be others I feel that way about. It doesn’t have to be him. I need to disconnect from this awful crush crap and remember he’s just some guy. That is what I will start calling him, I think. Jusg.
Jusg, just some guy who is stringing me along, while his girlfriend is busy doing other things. Jusg, just some guy who likes to revel in my adoration then goes about his business. Jusg, just some guy that I probably have absolutely nothing in common with aside from this stupid magnetic attraction that will stop if I make it stop.
Jusg. That’s what he needs to be.