This is how he won me. You want to know how I ever ended up with someone like him? Smooth fucking talking. They are just words, me, they are words.
From Miul to Me
Sent: Sunday, November 13, 2016 5:11 PM
I know you are unhappy with me. And you don’t want me around. Probably ever again.
I just want you to know for you. For us. My intentions were always good. I always wanted what was best. I wanted you happy.
I am a good man. I am I swear Even when I am terrible and confusing. And frustrating. My heart is never malicious or cruel. I want you to know that and try to remember that no matter what happens. And I thought I have known love and heartbreak before us. But I didn’t. I just want you to know these things.
You’re my Marilyn Monroe. And I’m your Joe Dimaggio. When I promised you and committed to you. I meant it. Even if you never speak to me again. I am your biggest fan, the one who adores you and the person who saw so much in you I was often scared. And if you ever need me, I will know. And I will be there. It is the only way I could ever give you back all you gave me.
You’re my beautiful girl. My northern light and my dream that I wished I never had to wake up from. I guess I really am the last of the hardcore troubadours.
And my god I loved your body and our sensuality. Your touch was an electric run from my skin to my soul. And the climaxes I felt were the most intense I ever knew.
With a love that will never die
My favorite thing you do is when you tip your head back and smile and laugh a little when you’re playing along with me being silly. That was our best. When we laughed.
From Me to Miul
I have never doubted for a moment that you are a good man. Even when you tried to convince me otherwise, I knew you were good and true. Having lived with you for five years, I also know that you are kind and loving and thoughtful. I have never known anyone who feels to the depths that you do; it is truly an amazing thing.
You did your best to give me the life that I asked you for, and it was very good. But we are not right together anymore. I am not right in us. There is no quick fix, there is no laundry list of repairs, it wasn’t you and it wasn’t me. It just wasn’t good anymore. We let it get away, and I don’t think we can get it back. To tell you the truth, I don’t want to get it back.
I saw us breaking down and I tried to make it stop. I swear, I never wanted this. I never expected this to happen. Now I know it’s for the best… for all three of us. In the early days we would talk about how things might end and we promised to let go with grace and gratitude. And, as difficult as it has been and continues to be, I think that is what we are doing. It just takes some time to get used to.
Marilyn and Joe didn’t end up together. That doesn’t make their love any less real or important. Were they better for having been in each other’s lives? I never been stronger, more confident, more happy in who I am as a human being – I thank you for that. I am better for having been in your life and I truly believe that you are better for having been in mine. I just have to go forward on my own from here.
With grace and gratitude,
From Miul to Me
Joe and Marilyn did not end up together. But when she needed him he was there. He let her go. She married Arthur Miller. And had numerous affairs. And moved on and by. But when her heart ached and when her mind got frail. When she was lonely. When she needed a familiar face it was Joe’s, he would come when called or open his home when she hurt. He let her go. But never stopped pining for her. And when Marilyn died it was Joe who claimed her and gave her, her send off and kept the wolves away.
Because Joe told her “I mean it forever”. And he did. Maybe they weren’t right and maybe he was jealous and frustrated. And maybe she didn’t understand his ways. But the love they had was always real. His love was a promise.
And I am your Dimaggio. I love you forever. And I will draw my last breathe and I am sure your face will be there in my eyes. You were the one I waited for. And I could probably find a hundred girls to chase away my lonely. But they wouldn’t be you. And my love was my promise.
Don’t disappear okay. Keep talking to me. Learn a new way to trust me. Stay here. Be safe. I will promise to learn how to be calmer and to accept. Just give me time. Please don’t rush this part. Don’t just try to fill that space I left.
I’m your Dimaggio. I swear. The only part that will change is that I will be going into that dark before you. But if there is something else. If there is a better place out there. When you come too. I will be right there waiting. Just to see you again
I did not reply.