I’m going to make something happen

Well, the resolve to do nothing lasted about an hour or so, didn’t it? I think I’m going to tell him to stop texting me. It’s exciting in the moment but, in the long run, it just doesn’t make me feel good. Like two bottles of wine or a tub of ice cream. Afterward I just feel yucky and depressed and paralyzed with ennui. I’m doing things that are good for me this time around. And not just in the moment. Is this forcing something to happen? Yes, sort of. But this is making a decision for the betterment of me, like deciding to exercise and eat healthy. I don’t eat Whoppers anymore; I like them while I’m eating one but in the long run they make me feel like crap. Anyway, old me would have told him I didn’t want to text him anymore in the hopes that it would force him to realize that I am the love of his life and he’ll dump the other girl and we’ll ride off into the sunset together. Well, quite frankly, I don’t want that to happen either. I just want to stop feeling shitty. It’s time to call an end to sex by cell phone.

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