The wish lie


You know they lied to you when they taught you to make wishes on your birthday cake every year, don’t you? I just realized it and, frankly, I’m disappointed. Perhaps they were trying to protect us. Perhaps they didn’t know any better. That’s no excuse.

When you make a wish on your birthday cake, what is the most important rule of all? Don’t tell, right?

The rules, in order, are:

  1. close your eyes,
  2. make a wish, and
  3. blow out all your candles.
  4. And don’t tell anyone what you wished because it won’t come true.

Do you not think that actually telling people what you wish for would greatly increase the odds of it coming true? I say tell everyone!

You want a hundred dollars? Tell someone who will buy you a scratch ticket, or give you $100. You want someone to notice you? Say hello, stand out. Tell people you’ve known your whole life, tell people you meet in the street (probably don’t lead with it when you’re running into people as you walk through a busy intersection).

Say it, wish it over and over, the more you say it the more you will realize you mean it, and you will find a way to make it happen. Or you’ll find someone who will help you make it happen. When you stop saying it you will realize it’s not your wish anymore. Always find something new to wish for, though. That’s very important.

I think it’s time to change the rules.

I just asked Unionguy to visit me tomorrow. Told him he couldn’t have any of my cake, though. Because I don’t share chocolate cake. (And it’s at my house and he won’t come here. That too.)


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