?

I spent the afternoon with Miul and Gem. Actually brought her over here for a few minutes to see how she was feeling about it all. I didn’t talk to her about the breakup but I just wanted to see her reaction to my asking in a casual way and then seeing how she reacted to the house.

“You made my bedroom – what was going to be my bedroom – into a work out room? That’s cool.”

Definitely a pass for her spending time. 

Spent the evening eating pizza and watching Sausage Party with Miul. He tried to have sex, of course. But he also told me that he doesn’t want anyone else, he wants me. That he’s never felt a home before he was with me. We cried. He talked about us going to counselling together. Not now, maybe. But maybe in the future. 

Those are words. 

You sell me with your words, I thought as he spoke. Let’s see. 

I did a panty check when I got home. Yep, tingling was present. I could say that was just a physical reaction. 

Maybe we should date and get to know each other the way we didn’t get a chance to the last time. Maybe he’ll realize we aren’t meant to be together. Maybe I’ll realize we are. 

Unionguy is staying in the picture, though. I’m not having sex with either one of them or anyone else until I get this shit figured out. At some point I will know which way to go. 

I think it’s away from Miul. I really do. 

Is what just fucking happened exactly what I didn’t want to happen tonight? Dammit. 

No. 

I don’t think so.

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