We said good night after that. My last post, even after good night was “You can’t possibly be that good in real life. Tell me you aren’t so I can sleep soundly.” The next morning he said “Not even close” and I said “lol… good. =D”. And that was our last interaction. Yesterday at 7:40am.
That was quite intense, and far beyond our agreed upon respectable friendship limit. I didn’t expect to hear from him for the rest of the day yesterday, but hoped. I don’t expect to hear from him today, but hope. I’m going to my sister’s tomorrow, Friday. Will he try to come see me? Or is he running in the other direction?
I feel bad that he might be feeling bad. But what I really want him to be feeling is confusion. I want him to be thinking of me, to see that he doesn’t want to be with her, that he hasn’t been happy in a very long time. And that there is nothing wrong with searching for happiness with someone new.
He thinks he’s a “gong show” at relationships. He thinks it’s easy for me to fall but harder to fly. He thinks a lot.
I don’t think about anything but him.
I won’t approach first, though. At least not yet. I want to see what happens. Even if what happens is he never speaks to me again. I’m not going to force this. He has to come to me. He knows I’m here.
Of course, this resolve could change at any weak moment. And there are several.
We shall see.