I was thinking the other day that I should call this blog “Dear future me” because I’m just talking to myself, talking out my feelings and what is going on so I can go back to it some day and realize that I am progressing and doing better, even when it’s hard to see it in the moment. Point in case, I just read a few entries of my first blog and it made me cry for that woman.
This one post in particular made me cry. I remember the moment, I remember completely falling apart while I was brushing my teeth and trying to figure out how I could kill myself without anyone knowing I did it on purpose. That was nine years ago; I lived another life, in another province, with another man, I was another me. Yet still me.
Dear past me, it gets better, just hang in there. You’re going to be okay, better than okay, you’re going to get exactly where you want to be… just understand that “where you want to be” is ever changing and evolving, because so are you. I love you.