Ugs & Kisses

Unionguy kissed me! Just a peck on his way out the door but still. He kissed me. On the lips – hello! He hugged me twice, hello and goodbye. It’s odd – he’s 13 years older than me but he makes me feel 14. Dreaming of maybes and giddy with anticipation.

He texted to see if I was at work but I was on my way to the house so I told him to visit me there instead. He did. And we explored the place for over an hour. He was was more interested than Miul ever was. Not a shock, certainly, but a very nice and welcome change. At one point he was on the floor in the bathroom looking at the sink connection and I just stopped. That is the type of man I want. I really like him; looks like it might be possible he feels the same way. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.

This is my last weekend in the apartment with Miul and Gem. I’m pretty stressed about it, to be honest. I feel bad to be hurting Gem this way. Miul too, I guess. I gave them 5 years – that’s a lot, isn’t it? I keep surprising myself with memories of frustrations pushed aside and hurts swept under the carpet. I don’t regret a single moment but I’m so glad those moments will end soon. So relieved.

It completely pisses me off that he continues to come on to me, btw. It doesn’t matter how many times I say no, how hard I push him away, how many times he’s pushed it so far I’ve cried. It’s a sad homage to our relationship, though. I’ve been invisible, the only needs that mattered were his. It wasn’t intentional but it is a life I’m eager to leave behind.

Four more days.

At least I have some butterflies in my belly to get me through. *teehee*

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