I guess it would be fair to say I am struggling right now. You see, I made this promise. To love him and be there for him. It seems many days I don’t receive a fraction of what I give but that’s okay for the most part. I’m more about the quality, to be honest. I’m just not really getting that either. I made a promise and I don’t want to go anywhere.
There is this voice in my head, though. And it’s asking questions I just can’t answer right now. I need a visit with former-me. What was it like when we were getting to know each other? What were we saying then? Do we still have the same problems we had back then, six years ago?
And what does the answer to that question mean? Does that matter? Will it matter in six more years? How about 16? 56?
Luckily we got to know each other online and I kept a blog that included some of both of our Tumblr posts. He kept another blog back then too.
I’ve got some heavy reading to do tonight.
Part of me isn’t sure I want to do this. Will it help or will it make things worse? I just need to cry so bad.
I’ll probably share some reminders for future me. Just saying.