Difficult

I find it astounding how many people in higher management positions think that “do as I say” is an appropriate way to deal with subordinates. How is this possible? I read every book, article and comment I can find about the subject of leadership and people management and I’m certain not once was I advised to deal with issues by saying “because I said so.”

Even when I was raised I was taught to discuss my views. If my parents told me to do something (or not to do something, more likely) and I disagreed, it was perfectly acceptable to provide my reasoning for them to consider or ask them to clarify their point. My mother and I often joke that she didn’t raise us so much as manage us, we were treated with respect and taught to make our own decisions. Apparently this is not the way of the world, another lesson it has taken nearly 45 years for me to grasp.

Today the DRS and DRO told me to meet someone for training on a program I already know how to use; I told them I know how to do it, I used it effectively yesterday, I haven’t been using it because it takes more time and no one commented (since December!) that I wasn’t using it, and I actually trained this other person how to use it. Yet to mention that I was concerned about losing another day of work – I have really challenging sales targets to make! – I was being insubordinate or “pushing back.”

Then I learn that when the DRS said on Friday that I should consider giving someone a huge price discount to make a sale even though I didn’t feel money was the biggest issue and concerned that a deep discount might devalue the sale, that too was considered “push back”. Apparently being me, a.k.a. push back and push back, is making me look bad.

So, what am I going to do? Am I going to leave or find a way through?

There is no way I’m going to leave. I do not leave looking like my tail is between my legs; I leave at the top of my game. When I leave I want people to feel my absence, but not with a sense of relief. I can play the game when I know the rules. I’ve done it. I put up with that crazy-ass psycho in my other job for three years, they aren’t going to push me out because I spoke out of turn.

I believe in myself but that doesn’t have to mean I have a huge ego and think I’m better than anyone else, it means I see the value in discussing ideas and finding the best solution. I will not change my whole career path just because they don’t understand that.

I’m going to turn this whole ordeal into motivation and kick some “superior” butt! Maybe some day I’ll be leading them… that’s when I’ll show them how to do it right. For now I need to reign myself in and meet these damn sales targets no matter what hurdles they put in front of me.

Onward and upward, soldier!

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